Could I let myself BE?

Well it’s Wednesday already … two days down, the rest of my life to go. How long will that be, I wonder? Isn’t it time to be who I already am?


Being Alone

Ms. Wolf was depressed.  And stressed.  Never a solitary critter, she’d felt very much alone since her mate had left her.  Or since she’d kicked him out.  Or since he’d been lured away.   Whatever.  She wasn’t sure anymore what had happened … it was so confusing.  From time to time, in the depths of her loneliness she’d cry out, “What’s the matter with me?  Wolves mate for life!  Why did he leave?  Why am I alone?”  And she would howl from time to time at the sympathetic moon.

Well, that is the Animal condition isn’t it?  Your mate runs off or perishes … your parents pass on, your offspring leave the nest.  And there you are.  A gaping hole in your life, once crowded with laughter, bickering, romance, hard work …   Such is the quality of aloneness.

Or perhaps it’s more subtle than that.  Maybe a friend betrayed your confidence.  Maybe someone you trusted acted in a less than trustworthy way.  Perhaps a relative gave his word and then broke it.  In all of those cases, you suddenly felt apart from, distanced from that person.  Before, you’d felt close, together, at-one.  Afterwards, you began to doubt.  You no longer felt so close … you felt a gap open up between you.  You began to feel alone.  And along with that, came loneliness and the anxiety of loneliness as well.

When Ms. Wolf came to me, she was in such a state!   She’d tried running with other wolves, group hunts.  She began hanging out with unattached males.  Once she’d even looked after the cub of a male whose mate had died.  But after all of that she was still alone.  Wondering what to do next.  Wondering what to say to The Pack.  Worrying about who she would be with when Winter Solstice came around.  It’s terribly lonely, howling at the moon by oneself.

So my first task was to help Ms. Wolf to see that the real problem was not her life situation, but rather her habitual emotional patterns.  Her lack of a mate did not make her feel uptight and lonely.   That absence did not somehow carry loneliness vibes with it which mystically transferred themselves to her.  Rather, she, like most of us, had been raised with certain beliefs and expectations.  When her situation did not measure up to these, she automatically began rejecting her life and craving what appeared to be the ‘natural’ condition.  What ‘everyone else’ had.

So here is the key point:  she began to reject her feelings of loneliness and the life situation that went with it on the one hand.  And at the same time, she began wanting, craving, clinging to the thought of its opposite – craving  a mate, craving  a relationship … wanting a partner to run and howl with.

And these two energies, rejecting on the one hand and craving on the other, kept her in a constant state of misery.  She had caught and snared herself in an invisible trap whose two jaws are labelled reject and crave.  So in order to help her win free of that, I came up with a releasing process, very much like the one in the audio links below.

If you are feeling stressed and alone like Ms. Wolf, I suggest that you click on the first audio link below:   Beyond Alone – Part 1.  It is the first of 5  short meditations, designed to help you to work through your loneliness or loss of closeness.  And in doing so, to eliminate another source of stress.  And also to shift awareness so that you can start to bring more one-ness and connectedness into your life.

Beyond Alone – Part 1

Beyond Alone – Part 2

Beyond Alone – Part 3

Beyond Alone – Part 4

Beyond Alone – Part 5


Into the Valley of Alzheimers: Stress and Control

Nancy is the family matriarch:   The Boss Lady, Queen Bee, Grand Ma.    For a long time, Nancy reigned with great skill and dignity.  But a few years ago she began showing her age. Her memory became erratic.  She had strange mood swings.  She had difficulty organizing her thoughts.  Now, she can no longer live on her own … is clearly on the long march down into the valley of Alzheimers.  At times she is lucid.  At times she makes no sense.  Often she misses her children and wants them to stay with her constantly.  Sometimes she doesn’t trust them and wants them to leave –  NOW. More

Six Ways to Release Stress

Here are some principles or guidelines on living and acting in such a way as to bring flow into your life.  Flow as opposed to drivenness and stress.  I guess you could consider this as theory. Over time, I’ll post specific processes that will help you with each of the following.

  • Release the sense of fighting, of problem.    Rather see it as an interesting project …  curiosity,  interest  in gathering more info.   Or interest in exploring another pathway to the summit.
  • Release the sense of urgency, emergency, pressure to get it done. Let go of deadline,  time running out.  Instead:  allow relaxation.  Peace.  Appreciate this moment sans future.   What’s here now?    Bodily sensations, the environment. More

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